CBeastie02: man
CBeastie02: do you ever read stuff you wrote like 2-3 years ago
alfaaay: yeah
CBeastie02: applications for stuff
alfaaay: yeah I do actually
CBeastie02: snapshots of where you were at at that point
alfaaay: whenever I organize things, I take time to look through those things
CBeastie02: sometimes i'm impressed by how clear my head was
alfaaay: it's a good way to get taken back
alfaaay: yeah same here
CBeastie02: and i find i was eloquent and consise
CBeastie02: on other things, i don't know what i was thinking
alfaaay: sometimes it feels like I've lost that when I read that stuff
alfaaay: haha yeah
CBeastie02: but for the most part, i think i had a good idea of where i wanted to go and what was important to me
CBeastie02: and some of those things have changed, and i don't know if it's for the better
CBeastie02: college is crazy
CBeastie02: its so easy to get focused on changing certain things, while anchors you used to hold tight to start to slip away without you even noticing
alfaaay: yeah man I find that happening so easily it seems

CBeastie02: man
CBeastie02: do you ever read stuff you wrote like 2-3 years ago
alfaaay: yeah
CBeastie02: applications for stuff
alfaaay: yeah I do actually
CBeastie02: snapshots of where you were at at that point
alfaaay: whenever I organize things, I take time to look through those things
CBeastie02: sometimes i'm impressed by how clear my head was
alfaaay: it's a good way to get taken back
alfaaay: yeah same here
CBeastie02: and i find i was eloquent and consise
CBeastie02: on other things, i don't know what i was thinking
alfaaay: sometimes it feels like I've lost that when I read that stuff
alfaaay: haha yeah
CBeastie02: but for the most part, i think i had a good idea of where i wanted to go and what was important to me
CBeastie02: and some of those things have changed, and i don't know if it's for the better
CBeastie02: college is crazy
CBeastie02: its so easy to get focused on changing certain things, while anchors you used to hold tight to start to slip away without you even noticing
alfaaay: yeah man I find that happening so easily it seems

People rule!

Man, I am so blessed to have so many strong relationships in my life. Close friends I go through everthing with. Parents who love and support me in every way. Mentors who I turn to for advice on an almost daily basis. Peers who I am supposed to be mentoring who inspire me. Roommates who keep things light and teach me about little things in life. Friends who are always there to share a laugh. The best part is that so many of these overlap into the amazing people I'm proud to associate myself with.

I guess I just want to express gratitude. I feel so lucky to have people who are there for me - I seriously don't know what I'd do without listening to the experiences of others. You open the doors of my mind and make me see possibilities I'd never thought of before. I think that in life there is no better way to learn than to seek to learn from those who have gone before you.

Also, I enjoy finding numerous ways to distract myself when I should be studying.

Keep on lookin' cause they stay in the jar

Hmmm...

-Schweitzer was good. Beautiful sunny day on Saturday with great views of surrounding Lake and Mountains. Good new snow on Sunday.. I went off my first jumps in the terrain park and by and large landed them, which cause me to feel like the mack. Until I fell off the chair lift on the subsequent trip up. Dang.. a little embarassing.

-The drive home was a doozy... got stuck on Snoqualmie pass. I've never been to Eastern Washington in the winter, I realized. It's pretty crazy. Freezing rain, snow, road flooding, monsoons, hurricanes... they have everything over there.

-I had 4 assignments due today, that's one in each class. It was pretty much crazy.

-UW Leaders party watching Shaun of the Dead tonight at Mark's apt.. props to Mark for hosting a most excellent shindig once again. That movie is NUTS. I would recommend watching it, to hear the way British people say "stupid" and "literally" at the very least.

-I have 2 midterms on Friday, which is not cool.

-OK so it felt like flippin' Spring quarter outside today, which is normally cool, except that Stevens is closed due to this freak weather we have been having. Snowboarding plans Saturday = canceled.

-During the writing of this blog entry, my prospects for Friday night improved sweetly. You know what I hate though? You have a conversation in your head for a week. You have all these things you want to say. The moment comes, you freaking sweat through your shirt, mutter something that somewhat resembled what you planned to say. It goes way too quick and you end up thinking... what the crap just happened. Ugh I will revisit this later.

YARRRRRR

For some reason I felt like combining a somewhat-serious entry with a ridiculous picture.

So I was at this candlelight vigil today for the tsunami victims. It's been really easy to just pretend like this never happened, because I was on vaction when it did, and I didn't know anyone that was personally affected (or if I do, they haven't told me). I was finally able to have a moment of silence in a touching ceremony to think about it and pray about it, which was nice.

On that note, having a moment of silence, or even a quiet time of reflection, is something that is hard to come by on campus. While straining to hear a particularly soft-voiced speaker in an otherwise quiet Red Square, a skateboarder going by was about the loudest thing going around. In the city life, we are so accustomed to constant background noise that true moments of silence are hard to come by. I guess we learn to drown them out, but there's something cool about real silence. It's like when you're sleeping in a hotel and the air conditioning goes off. You didn't even realize that it was loud, but when it stops, its hard to fathom how you thought so much noise was quiet.

Smile like you mean it! 

Don't let anybody get in your way

A couple quick thoughts I wanted to get down before they jumped away:

- The UW Leaders retreat was sweet! Again, an amazing experience. This year was a little different. Last year I was looking to find my place. This year I felt profoundly that this WAS my place, and I tried as hard as I could to ensure that others also found their place. People continue to amaze me. I was talking in front of the whole group, and Mike Pope asked me what I was proud of. I answered that I was proud that I sought out such inspiring people and strove to learn as much as I could from them. I'm greatful to God for every talent I've been given, but what are they without others from whom to learn how to use them?

- Earlier today people were singing Wonderwall by Oasis. I heard the words "There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how..." come out of my mouth and I was like.. whoah. This song that I loved back in 6th grade seemed to be telling me something. Most of my closest friends are aware that I've had a pretty big crush on this girl for some time now, and I'm continually holding back. I want to tell her everything that I think is amazing about her. I want to tell her the ways in which she makes me want to be a better person. I want to tell her how she inspires me and makes me want to completely forget about things and people's actions that have been troubling me for a while. I want to tell her how she cracks me up and how, despite a huge crush, I've always felt at ease around her. I want her to know that I glance across the room at her and then whisper to my girl friends how gorgeous I think she is.
The thing is that I don't know how, or, more specifically, I'm terrified of what might happen if I did. This whole time, I've had so many reasons to not go for it. But it's becoming clearer to me that I might be foolish not to.

AN ACT TO: Solicit Comments

WHEREAS: I just realized I could change things so that everyone could comment, regardless of Blogger-membership; and

WHEREAS: Comments make me feel good about myself and encourage future posting;

THEREFORE, BE IT ENACTED BY ME

THAT: Comments can now be made by anybody with a keyboard, an internet connection, and something sweet to say.